If, like me, you hear clip-clop noises wherever you go and keep trying to whistle for your car, you’ve probably been playing the new game Red Dead Redemption. Constantly. At the expense of sleep, food and social life.

Red Dead Redemption, or Grand Theft Horsey as some wags are calling it, is great: missions range from shooting outlaws to collecting wild herbs, the scenery is exquisite, the movement of the horses, armadillos and snakes beautiful and the history convincing.

There’s only one obvious flaw: the clunky writing. I’m not talking about the story, which is serviceable enough. It is the leaden, improbable dialogue. writing which would never pass muster on Unforgiven or High Noon. “I’ve never seen a ranch with its own store before,” remarks supposedly taciturn John Marston. Of course you haven’t, John. That’s because you’re in a game. “With your itchy trigger and my feminine intuition, we’ll make a great team,” says rancher Bonnie, cramming three cliches into one sentence.

This is not a low-budget game that couldn’t afford to employ good writers. It costs no more to animate and record great dialogue than this sub-Bonanza dullness. They could have brought in writers from Deadwood.

And the really sad thing is that RDR has some of the finest writing in games today: that’s just not a very high standard. The problem is twofold. Games don’t take writing as seriously as graphics, so it’s often done at the last minute, or by designers. And screenwriters don’t see games writing as a clever career move. But to be taken seriously as a cultural medium, these games need to bring in real writers.