Despite all the hype that preceded it, the first trailer for Rise of the Planet of the Apes didn't land as solidly as anyone hoped. It spent more time crowing about its special effects than anything else, it didn't really explain much in the way of story and – crucially – it was a trailer for a film with an impossibly stupid name.

However, a second trailer for Rise of the Planet of the Apes is now online. Can it improve on its muddled first effort? Let's find out.

1) Already this is much better. We even get a clear explanation about why the apes decided to rise up and overthrow humanity – it's because even monkeys are sick of how overexposed James Franco is. His book, they could forgive. Presenting the Oscars was pushing it. But pretending to be a brain scientist in a film about some angry monkeys? That's just too much, even for angry monkeys.

2) Oh, hang on, no, it's because someone invented a drug which has the sole purpose of making chimpanzees dangerously intelligent. But the James Franco thing probably played some part in it as well. It'd certainly make sense.

3) But let's get back to the story. This is Caesar. One day he'll lead the resistance against the humans, partly as a reaction to their arrogance and cruelty, but mainly because he's been named after a type of dog food. But for now he's just a monkey in a box.

4) However, the drug makes Caesar develop at an astounding rate. As you can see, he's already become fascinated with crayons. This is a dangerous portent. As everyone knows, first come crayons, then Pritt Sticks, then those oversize pencils you used to be able to buy at Thorpe Park, and then the complete and total annihilation of mankind. Everyone knows that's how it goes. Why won't James Franco open his eyes?

5) But it's too late. Caesar has started dressing like a human now. Admittedly one of those creepy humans who walk around with no trousers or pants on, but a human nonetheless. Next he'll be listening to Limp Bizkit and whining about how James Franco isn't his real dad. Terrifying chimpanzee dictators grow up so fast, don't they?

6) Inevitably, Caesar decides to use the drug to create his own army of super-intelligent chimpanzees. This is presumably because he's a teenager now, and he's sad about not having any other chimpanzee friends to text.

7) And now comes the extended period where Caesar just sort of strolls around looking a bit suspicious. Warning: this Shifty Monkey sequence goes on a bit.

8) See? Perhaps the saddest part of this is the fact that, with poses like these, Caesar obviously had a bright future ahead as a kind of monkey-based-catalogue model. But, no, he had to throw it all away by destroying humankind for ever. Short-sighted, Caesar. Short-sighted.

9) With an army of apes under his control, Caesar instructs his minions to go forth and put phase one of his wicked plan into action – quietly watching a bunch of humans as they sleep. Possible new title: Rise of the Planet of the Creepy and Potentially Masturbating Apes.

10) The film climaxes with the apes collating their vast strength and intellect to perform the act that Caesar's been dreaming of for so long – scaring one specific horse a bit. With that feat accomplished they all decide to overthrow mankind anyway, then evolve until their mouths look all cheap and prosthetic, and then partially bury the Statue of Liberty just to screw with Charlton Heston's mind.