Hadley Freeman 

So Romeo Beckham is modelling for Burberry. Is Zoolander coming true?

Hadley Freeman: Ten-year-old Romeo Beckham is the face of Burberry this season – but this is hardly the stuff of fashion parody
  
  

Zoolander
‘It has elements of the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good ...’ Photograph: Moviestore Collection/Rex Features Photograph: Moviestore Collection/Rex Features

Zoolander was on TV on New Year's Eve, so does this mean 2013 will be the year Zoolander comes true? Evidence for the prosecution: 10-year-old Romeo Beckham is the face of Burberry.
Sara, London

Glad to know I'm not the only one who rung the new year in with Derek Zoolander and Hansel ("He's so hot right now.") Yeah, I grip it and rip it.

But moving on from my dazzling nightlife, yes, a Beckham junior is indeed modelling for Burberry this season, one who so closely resembles his father it's as if Victoria accidentally put David in the washing machine and shrunk him. While all this might have elements of the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good, it's hardly out of leftfield, Sara. Burberry wants attention (of the sort we, as it happens, are giving it now – clever, clever Burberry) and the Beckham parents desire fashion credibility. As unions go, this seems pretty much on a par with Peter Andre marrying Katie Price. And they all lived happily ever after, right?

Some have expressed concern that mixing a child with the evil, nasty world of fashion will instantaneously make that child turn to the crack pipe, but the theory that spotlight plus child equals Lindsay Lohan is far too generalised. After all, my future husband, CNN's Anderson Cooper, was a child model and look how he turned out: chasing hurricanes and bombs all over the world with nothing but a slightly too tight T-shirt for protection.

As a hardened, fag-ash-riddled, vodka-soaked veteran of fashion journalism, my feeling about fashion and children is that I don't especially mind children in fashion adverts – I don't see the point of it, but it doesn't make my womb turn to ash in horror. However, I do recoil from children on fashion show catwalks, clinging to the hand of a 19-year-old model, blinking in terror as they are marched toward the phalanx of photographers, cameras aimed like rifles. This distinction might seem a little spurious but at least on fashion shoots there are general guidelines about work environments and such, and that is why if a 10-year-old had to model for any brand, I'd be happy if it was Burberry. Christopher Bailey, Burberry's chief creative officer, is, by any and all standards, officially the nicest man in the world. I would trust all of my future children, my health, my non-existent wealth, my family, my friends and my dog in his fair Yorkshire hands. If I could find a way, I'd make him adopt me. So well done, David and Victoria, for choosing a fashion godfather so wisely for your son, if a fashion godfather he must have.

But what, Sara, can we learn from all this? Well, we learn that Burberry is feeling pretty damn secure these days. Not so long ago, this brand was so shaken by the photo of a certain former soap star with a distinctive nose wearing head-to-toe Burberry check alongside her similarly clothed child that they all but banned the pattern from their clothing ranges in order to rid themselves of the association with tacky celebrities. Now, such is the label's self-confidence that they hire the child of a footballer and a former pop star. It's all a bit like the end of Animal Farm, really: "The creatures looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which." Who's gazumped who here, the cheesy celebrities or the fashion world? Or are they all the same? Answers on a postcard to Burberry HQ, please.

But perhaps the most enlightening development from all of this comes from the source of non-stop enlightenment, Mail Online.

I have discussed in the past this website's intriguing attitude towards young woman and how their mere possession of a body proves that they are "flaunting it", which is presumably Latin for "gagging for it". This website's stance towards children is equally intriguing, with girls anywhere between four and 15 being described as "looking older than her years" or "all grown up", while the journalist rubs their thighs. Heretofore, I had only ever seen these descriptions awarded to girls, but the Mail's coverage of Romeo's Burberry debut describes the 10-year-old as "looking old beyond his years". Yes, he nearly looks a positively haggard 11 years of age.

The point is, Sara, even if you are absolutely disgusted about a child in a fashion advert, one thing to take away from this is that we now know that Mail Online doesn't only talk about little girls inappropriately – it talks about all children inappropriately. It has gender equality when it comes to inappropriate discussion of children. Um, yay?

• Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@guardian.co.uk.

 

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