The internet is already history's greatest educator. The answer to every problem you have ever had – from how to fix a leaky toilet to what that red thing on the side of your leg is – is right there at the touch of a button. And now, because education is a thing that exists on the internet, Google has found a ruthless way to monetise it.

Google Helpouts, which launched this week, is a service that allows you to pay for brief one-on-one webcam masterclasses with a range of experts in various fields. The breadth of disciplines on offer is breathtaking. You can chat to personal trainers, stylists, gardeners, DIY experts. And, as it happens, journalists. So when I saw a Helpout called "Expert journalism: broadcast, print and digital media advice", I realised that I should probably sign up immediately.

For the princely sum of $8.04 (approximately £5), I could spend 15 minutes chatting to Mun Wai Wong, a journalist who helped to cover the Iraq war for ITN and the Beijing Olympics for NewsAsia. I checked his official website. He'd met Pele. That was all the convincing I needed.

Accessing the Helpout was easy enough. I simply booked an appointment, paid my fee, downloaded Google's chat software and there I was – face to face with an expert. Wong was sitting down, resplendent in a shirt and tie and ready to go. I was red-faced and unshaven. "Hello! Sorry to keep you waiting!" he yelled, and we were off.

Wong answered my questions with the slick professionalism of a true expert. I should not necessarily try to be funny all the time, he told me, especially when "covering a heavyweight medical story". He also told me to go into stories thinking: "Who are you pitching to? What's the publication? What's the audience? Are your interests and expectations aligned?" and that, while the internet has lowered the entry bar for journalism: "Your writing still needs to be up to scratch if you want to get noticed."

My time almost up, I asked the most important question of all: how can I make my copy sparkle? Wong grinned. This was something he knew about. "Right right right, mlinnn lkkkk tttttt ature to you." Pardon? "Omp glerk. Go ahead."

Oh great. My most important question, and the line was breaking up. Wong struggled on incomprehensibly for another two minutes, firing glitchy consonant after unintelligible glitchy consonant at me until the line went dead entirely. We had been disconnected. I never did find out how to make my copy sparkle. So if this article isn't very good, blame Google Helpouts.