And so to a new occasional series, Dispatches From the Showbiz Bermuda Triangle, wherein we contemplate the mysterious disappearance of various showbiz entities. This week, our subject is the Beckhams' close friendship with Mr Tom Cruise, which has not been heard of since 2011.
Whatever happened there, pop pickers? Time was they were all inseparable. The Beckhams were among the select guests at Tom's wedding to Katie Holmes at an Italian castle. Then, of course, there was easily the most disturbing thing Lost in Showbiz has ever seen in a football stadium – the sight of a heavily sunglassed Cruise in the stands at the Bernabéu, applauding and guffawing wildly as Real Madrid beat Mallorca to win La Liga in 2007. When the Beckhams moved to LA, Tom was forever to be found in the player's box watching LA Galaxy and enjoying it just as much – as well someone might, if they hadn't come for the football. As for Beckham, he later confessed to having spent "hours" on the phone to Tom trying to make up his mind over whether to join the Galaxy. He spoke to him several times a week, he added, and took his advice on pretty much anything.
Meanwhile, Cruise's generosity toward his new best friends was as fanatical as pretty much everything else he did: he hosted them a Welcome To LA party, while on the day Beckhams moved into their new Beverly Hills home, they found a few little presents from Tom parked in the driveway – a Cadillac Escalade, a Lincoln Navigator and a Bentley Continental.
But over the past couple of years … well, the coastguard seems to have lost contact. Cruise and the Beckhams have occasionally been seen shaking hands politely and exchanging what appear to be pleasantries if they find themselves near each other in courtside seats at the Lakers, or in the VIP section at the ice hockey. But of that much-flaunted bezziedom, almost teenage in its intensity, there is no longer the slightest sign.
It is not for us to speculate on what exactly caused the cooling – perhaps it was the showbiz version of getting on famously with a couple you met on holiday only to realise they're horrors in real life. That said, as an etiquette completist, I'd love to know at what point in a developing froideur it becomes either mannerly to return a fleet of luxury cars, or acceptable to just trade them in for less painful vehicular reminders.
