Actors shouldn't necessarily be able to speak intelligently about what they do. That academic intellectualising of what you're up to is so alien to me. And, more than anything, I'm thick.
Simple tasks make man simple. That was Jung's philosophy, and I agree. Neuroses and psychoses come when we overanalyse. If you have to go and chop a tree down to get wood to build a fire to keep you warm, most human beings are happy doing that. I certainly am. Doing a simple activity makes you calm.
The happiest I've been was at the birth of my children, and I fluffed my lines on each occasion. At the birth of my second child I mistook the umbilical cord for a penis and called the wrong sex.
Children teach you how to love better. If we could only love our partners as we love our children there would be more relationships that lasted a lifetime.
I despise my adolescent self. I was very rejecting of my parents, but also incredibly needy of them. Every time they went away I imagined they'd died, and I used to cry at night. Then they'd come back and I'd be rude to them.
I had no fear of anything when I was young, and I was always falling off high things. I still have this trait. In South Africa a couple of years ago I drove past a sign for Bloukrans Bridge, the highest bungee in the world. Twenty minutes later I was jumping off the bridge. It was like the best fairground ride ever.
When I was younger I was living in Scotland and didn't feel Scottish enough – that made me upset. Now I feel entirely Scottish, but I'm not for independence. It feels a bit churlish to live in London and say we should be independent.
I stumbled into acting at university. I had a small part in The Crucible and this girl came along who I really fancied, and afterwards she said: "I couldn't take my eyes off you." I was sold. I thought: acting – that's what I'll do.
Walking my little girl to school this morning there was a big puddle, and I saw three different kids jump in it and three different adults avoid it. I thought: there's the journey from childhood to growing up, from wanting to jump in puddles to wanting to not get your shoes dirty.
Given half the chance, I'll be naked. I'll walk round my house naked until I'm forced to put on clothes and go out. When Nicole Kidman and I were in The Blue Room [in the West End], everyone was talking about a flash of Nicole's back, and there I was doing full-frontal naked cartwheels and no one seemed to care.
I loved the time I spent with Arthur Miller. As a young actor I was in The Man Who Had All the Luck, and he invited me to visit him in Connecticut. He was generous, and it felt right that he was the man who wrote those masterpieces.
The guitar keeps me sane. Time really flies when I'm playing, so it's a perfect complement to waiting, which you do a lot of when you're filming.
Cycling is my addiction. It's transformed my feelings about London. I never really liked London until I got on a bicycle, and it's like you're in a secret club… you arrive at every destination feeling energised and happy.
Iain Glen stars in Fortune's Fool, by Ivan Turgenev, from 6 December (oldvictheatre.com)
