As technology evolves, the effort it takes to write to other people has shrunk at an incredibly fast rate. First we wrote letters. Next we emailed. Then we texted. Now, in this distraction-rich but time-poor age, we can just about get away with maintaining all our personal and professional relationships by sending the emoji that looks like a frightened cat backwards and forwards every three or four weeks.

But in the future, will computers be able to communicate with others for us? It's starting to look that way. A number of apps and sites have sprung up, all offering to generate carefully crafted bespoke texts and letters and tweets on our behalf. The most recent of these is Quit Your Job, a free app that asks you a couple of questions about your situation and then magics up a message for you to instantly send to your boss. At the moment, these services are strictly fringe. But could they ever cross over into the mainstream? And are they any good? I decided to find out.

Resign

Name Quit Your Job app
Service offered "Just tell the app why you're leaving, what you're planning on doing next and our state-of-the-art messaging service will take care of the rest."
Why this might be useful Finding the right way to resign is hard. Should you be honest? Angry? Diplomatic? The whole thing is a minefield.
I told the app I'm not earning enough money and I want to join the circus.
What it came up with "I've always been a bit of a romantic. And running off and joining the circus is such a poetic escape for us dreamers of the world. For me it wasn't so much of the whimsical calling I thought it would be, as a last-ditch effort to escape the long arm of the law."
Assessment Tonally inconsistent. Am I running away to the circus because I like the circus, because I hate my job, or because I'm wanted for a crime? How much notice am I giving? Will I still be paid for the month to date? This will be a nightmare for HR to untangle.
Score: 4/10

Dump your partner

Name Breakup Text app
Service offered Made by the same crack team behind Quit Your Job. "Make it easier than ever to end things with your significant other. You can end your relationship in just a few taps."
Why this might be useful There's nothing harder than seeing the heartbroken face of someone you've just dumped. Or hearing their voice on the phone. Or thinking up a two-sentence text to dump them with.
I told the app I want to end a long-term relationship with a girl because I'm bored.
What it came up with "We've drifted apart. It's not just your impotency, it really isn't. And no, this isn't about that girl at work. It's us. Ever hear the song Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst? Of course you haven't, that was one of our issues. Anyways, we're like that. A poltergeist love. And I need an exorcism."
Assessment A well-structured message, veering from gentle letdown to cold finality. There's enough passive-aggression to make my partner think that maybe it really is about her impotency, too.
Score: 8/10

Write a love letter

Name Valentine's Day Love Letter Generator website
Service offered It promises to create a beautiful love letter to the object of your affections, generated from choices you make on a menu.
Why this might be useful Don't we all want a computer to express our most profound feelings for us, so that we've got more time to get angry about stuff on the internet? Of course we do.
I told the site My best feature is my bum and I'd like to see myself wearing purple underwear (NB. I accidentally wrote the letter to myself.)
What it came up with "You know I've always loved your gorgeous bum and I can't wait to see you again so I can drool like an idiot over your bum and make a complete fool out of myself in public as always."
Assessment Oh great. Now that girl I've had my eye on doesn't just think that I've got a disgusting bum obsession, but also that I spend my days going around dribbling on bums like some sort of weirdo. That's barely even 50% true.
Score: 3/10

Tweet relentlessly

Name @Tofu_product Twitter account
Service offered A Twitter account that, when followed, composes tweets in your voice, based on things you've written in the past.
Why this might be useful Your followers expect to be relentlessly bludgeoned over the head with a constant stream of badly-formed observations and complaints. You can't let them down.
I told the account Everything I've ever tweeted, apparently.
What it came up with "Woody Allen I've never change, Golden! I haven't! Hey I love this week: Hula. Probably shouldn't."
Assessment This is just gibberish. This isn't how I tweet at all. Is it? Oh, who am I kidding, of course it is. This is completely accurate and I hate myself. Golden!
Score: 9/10

Apply for a job

Name Free Cover Letter Generator website
Service offered Enter some basic information and this website promises to create the perfect cover letter for your job application.
Why this might be useful Writing cover letters is always the most awkward part of applying for a new job, so why not just bank your entire future on a piece of untested free software?
I told the site I have had my current job for five years, and my skills include jumping up and down and being sleepy.
What it came up with "Your facility would gain an individual who is dependable, motivated, and personable. My many experiences ensure that I am an individual who knows how to accomplish tasks and work in a team dynamic."
Assessment Nowhere did I say that I was motivated or personable. Also, I work from home. I wouldn't know what a team dynamic was if it poked me in the bum. All this information is completely false.
Score: 1/10

Talk in jargon

Name ArchiText Sentence Generator app
Service offered "This allows you to create hundreds of profound sayings that sound very impressive, yet mean nothing at all."
Why this might be useful Perhaps you want to sound important. Perhaps you want to muddy your message. Perhaps you just want to sound clever in a meeting for once in your life.
I told the app This works a little differently. Each sentence is divided into four parts, and you choose each part manually.
What it came up with "Based upon inter-disciplinary considerations, the initial stage of conceptual development presents extremely synergistic challenges to the philosophy of commonality and standardisation."
Assessment I know that this is nonsense, and yet I'm still nodding along as if I know what it means because I don't want to look stupid. A triumph of jargon.
Score: 10/10

Write a song

Name Song Lyrics Generator website
Service offered "1) You choose a style. 2) You give us some keywords to play with. 3) We automatically create lyrics, a cover and a name for your single."
Why this might be useful Writing a meaningful song takes years of training and practice. I am very lazy.
I told the app I have a friend who is a girl. It asked for body parts, I said "nose" and "bum". It asked for two adjectives, I said "smelly" and "stupid". Retrospectively, I think I might have mentioned something about a horse.
What it came up with "She licked a horse / Alas, a horse! / My friend licked a horse / It was smelly, so smelly / The next day I thought my bum had broken / I thought my nose had burst into flames". From My Stupid Friend, a ballad.
Assessment A little scattershot, perhaps, and it does automatically reinforce the misconception that I'm obsessed with bums. However, it is still better than, say, My Humps.
Score: 5/10

Send a sexy text

Name Romantic SMS Generator app
Service offered "Provides you with hundreds of quality pre-written romantic texts that guaranteed will knock your partner off his/her feet."
Why this might be useful: Again, expressing yourself is hard. This is like having Cyrano de Bergerac in your pocket all the time.
I told the app Nothing. It just randomly gives you fully formed, catch-all romantic text ideas to suit any occasion.
What it came up with "1st time I saw u i was scared 2 touch u. 1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u. 1st time i kiss u i was scared 2 love u. but now dat i love u im scared 2 lose u!"
Assessment Yep, that's probably sealed the deal.
Score: 10/10