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Jess Cartner-Morley and Imogen Fox
February 16, 2014
LUPITA NYONG'O HAS JUST WON THE RED CARPET. THE REST OF YOU CAN GO HOME. Lupita in Dior: this is flawless. The silhouette is old-school movie star glamour, but then it becomes modern because of the colour (electric against her skin and the carpet) and the bold, clean strapless line, and her short hair, and the way her cuff echoes that belt. The only accessory that could improve this dress? A gold statuette. JCM Photograph: Richard Young/REX Can we talk about the necklace, Cate Blanchett? Blanchett looks great in this Alexander McQueen. It looks comfortable and fits like a dream. Amazing hair - obvs - but why the necklace? We can see what she was thinking - it’s a bit T-shirty up there - but the necklace is killing the chicness. Take it off during the ceremony, Cate. Please? IF Photograph: David M. Benett/Getty Images Uma Thurman in navy. I mean, just typing that phrase has made me happy. The strapless column makes me want to shout Boom! The jewellery is an exercise in sparkly restrain and the hair says modern movie star. IF Photograph: Ian West/PA Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have come as Posh'n'Becks. AMAZINGNESS. Brangelina have come in matching outfits, like when the Beckhams did black leather a deux at Versace in 1999. Brad and Angie are in Saint Laurent, and - can we discuss this before the watershed? - here on the fashion desk we are sure they had sex in their hotel room about 20 minutes ago. Are we right or are we right? There’s something weird going on with Brad’s collar, and Angelina’s belt is giving a faint policewoman vibe to the trousers, but - oh, the HOTNESS. JCM Photograph: Richard Young/REX 'Yeah, it's massive.' Giant collar LOLS from Emma Thompson . IF Photograph: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images More navy! I’ll stop clapping like a seal now... but I will just briefly mention that Helen Mirren’s gone for navy too. The chiffon sleeves and the jewelled work perfectly well but the floucy chiffon bottom bit is the best bit of the dress. That and her hair colour which is expensive in a really classy way. IF Photograph: Ian West/PA Maggie Gyllenhaal scores another navy success, even if she did mug a Pearly Queen on the way. IF Photograph: Ian West/PA This Vivienne Westwood dress is so good on Lily Allen . The colour combination is kind of violent and sweet at the same time, which suits her. The bodice has a ravishing, Marilyn-Monroe-in-a-bedsheet thing going on; the Chanel bag and the David Morris bling are over the top in a good way. Also, that’s the perfect shade of suntan, so if that’s a spray tan, then Lily can you please tell us where you had it done? (If it’s the Maldives, we don’t want to know.) JCM Photograph: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images