Jordan Hoffman 

The Choice review – let’s twist again, Nicholas Sparks-style

Comically perfect neighbours court over the Cape Fear inlets in another adaptation of the North Carolina slushmaster. It’s almost watchable – until a phony last twist
  
  

Teresa Palmer and Benjamin Walker in The Choice
Ralph Lauren catalogue fodder … Teresa Palmer and Benjamin Walker in The Choice. Photograph: Allstar

At around the 90-minute mark, The Choice makes a choice. It could, if it wanted to, just call it quits. By this point we’ve essentially witnessed a full three-act story, albeit a fairly slight one. It’s a courtship film with a few hurdles, reversals and, eventually, a happy ending. Ninety minutes is, as any film exhibitor will tell you, a suitable length for a feature. But The Choice is based on a Nicholas Sparks book, and produced by the same North Carolina-based author of vaguely Christian sentimental pap. And as is his trademark, the story can’t just be simple: it needs some sort of ludicrous last-minute conflict and ridiculous twist. The Choice chooses this well-worn path, give us about another 30 minutes, and we’re all the worse off for it.

It’s disappointing because – and maybe this is the true surprise – so much of the picture’s first two-thirds are actually decent. I wouldn’t call them good, but I’d call them watchable. Very beautiful Gabby (Teresa Palmer) and very handsome Travis (Benjamin Walker) are new neighbours. She’s just moved in to a rented house near the bay, and bachelor Travis likes to sit out back with his dog, grill steaks, play southern rock, look at his boat and have his (married with kids) pals over. Meanwhile, she’s trying to study for her medical exams!

What’s worse is Gabby’s adorable pooch appears to be pregnant – it’s gotta be that no good neighbour’s dog that put her in a family way. She finally heads over to give him a piece of her mind, which naturally kicks off a very slow flirtation. The next morning she takes her pet to get looked at and – oh, no! – that obnoxious man who thinks he’s so irresistible is actually the town veterinarian??!!

Turns out Travis really is irresistible. His abs are made from concrete, but he also melts at a basket of puppies. He’s got a boat and a motorcycle and is tight with his sister (Maggie Grace) and works with his dad (Tom Wilkinson). Gabby’s no slouch either. She’s a good cook, likes to twirl when she thinks no one is looking and is pretty easy on the eyes in a bathing suit or white tank top. There is, however, a key problem. Travis still keeps company with his “boomerang” gal of many years (Alexandra Daddario, in some cutoff jeans), and Gabby is engaged to a nice guy doctor Ryan (Tom Welling), whose country-club parents just adore her.

But Travis and Gabby are clearly meant for one another, so how will this work itself out? Well, they’re going to have to make a choice, and that path includes a lot of sunsets over those Cape Fear inlets. I’ve vacationed near Wilmington once and can confirm it is, indeed, lovely. I don’t quite recall every single person looking like they stepped out of a Ralph Lauren catalogue, but my memory can get hazy around so much beauty.

Legend has it that Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi originally wrote the script to Suspiria for pre-teens, but when they recast with adults they just left it as is. The Choice has a similar vibe. No one really speaks or behaves like any adult I’ve ever met, and the structure leads to a lot of people bumping into one another (like at the carnival!) as if life in Wilmington is one big summer camp. There’s also an unexpected jump forward in years, but everyone still looks exactly the same.

I’d rather not get into what that third-act twist is, but I will say that it is a cheap, gratuitous and manipulative way to con people into leaving the theater thinking they’ve had a thorough emotional workout. Who knows, some might tear up, but I suspect just as many would chortle. Moreover, the preposterous conclusion is a dog-whistle issue for religious conservatives. (Rather than include a spoiler I will include this relevant hyperlink.)

Not only is this sharp turn in the plot gross, it’s a slap in the face to the good work that Walker and especially Palmer do elsewhere in their sweet, simple romantic tale. It’s a shame director Ross Katz wasn’t able to expunge the phony ending from Sparks’s benign love story. In the end, it might not have been his choice.

  • The Choice is released in the US on 5 February.
 

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