John Crace 

It’s All Easy by Gwyneth Paltrow – digested read

John Crace juices Paltrow’s high-end recipe book down to a more nutritious 800 words
  
  

Gwyneth Paltrow illustration
Illustration: Matt Blease

Phew! Made it. Sorry, I’m a bit out of breath. I’ve just rushed back from my morning pilates class to be with you. Even I can sometimes have trouble keeping things easy. My therapist says it’s to do with my Fomo. That’s fear of missing out to you. We live in a hectic world where it can be hard to keep up with all the latest yoga trends, source the best Vitamix blender, fit in a pedicure while still finding space for a little me time. And that’s where this book comes in. Try to think of it as less of a recipe book and more of a road map. A book that can help you navigate the healing journey from Youseless You to Glorious Gwynnie.

First things first. If you’re going to be Marvellous Me, then you’re going to have to stock up on a few basics. A kitchen that is without kuru shoots, sumac and za’atar and an Aquaovo Raspberry water filter – available at just $1,100 from my Goop website – is never going to be an easy kitchen. And if you want to go that extra mile and say “Today I really value myself”, then allow yourself some toilet paper made out of 24-carat gold. You’ll never let anything else near your botty again.

Breakfast is traditionally the first meal of the day, which is why I always like to eat it soon after I get up. As a busy mom trying to make healthy choices, the dish I get my staff to make for my kids before I rush out to my cardio class is a simple bowl of acai and goji berries, topped with chia seeds and some gluten-free granola. Here’s a photograph of me in the kitchen trying to look as if I know what all the different gadgets are for. Cute. Here’s another photo of me looking wistfully out the window. Please notice how my hair cascades over my baggy pastel sweater. The sweater is available from Goop at a very reasonable $41,999. The hair is all my own.

In a dream world – this book for example – I’d eat every meal at a table with a cloth napkin and silver cutlery; in reality, I’m often spreading almond butter on a rice cake while rushing from a mindfulness class to a soccer ball game. Here are some quick snacks that you can easily knock up in about 40 minutes. My favourite is the bibimbap salad, which will make any fan of kimchi and furikake swoon. Here is a photo of me posing by my bicycle, which has a lettuce and a peony in the wicker basket. Peonies always seem to make my day just that bit easier.

Everybody has a tricky time of day. Mine comes in the afternoon in the lull between conscious uncoupling and unconscious coupling. It’s that time of the day when it’s hard to know if I’m actually stressed, hungry or simply under-caffeinated, but my body craves something salty and carby. But then I count to 10 and say to myself: “Gwynnie, do you really want to let yourself go and become a total lardo like so many of your readers? Or do you want to carry on being perfect?” Sometimes, the route map to easiness involves taking the road less travelled and here are some recipes that make the ideal antidote to a blood sugar dip or a momentary lapse in focus.

Beet chips. Pre-heat the oven to 325F. Grease two baking sheets lightly with olive oil. Use a mandolin to slice the beets. Place one set of beets in the top third of the oven and the other set in the lower third. After 10 minutes, reverse the position of the two sets of beets in the oven and cook for a further 10 minutes while reciting several verses of The Prophet. Then change into your tracksuit (I have several on sale on my Goop website at a knockdown $7,000,001) and jog down to your local delicatessen to buy some cilantro hummus. By the time you get back, it will be time for dinner. In the meantime, here’s a picture of me next to a tin of sardines. Crazy.

At the end of another busy, busy day being a role model to stick insects the world over, I’m ready for a little downtime. Time to take things even easier than I already have earlier in the day. It’s that moment to settle down in front of the TV with a tablespoon of tamari, some Tokyo turnips and a gluten-free sprout soufflé.

Digested read, digested: It’s all about me.

 

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