Corsets and crinolines, boxers and bras … the history of underwear is also an intimate history of changing attitudes to gender, sex, hygiene and morality. But the smalls on show in the Victoria and Albert Museum’s new exhibition, Undressed, tell a story of technology as much as social trends.

From whalebone to wire, state-of-the-art spandex to austerity-era paper, boobs and bums have been progressively enlarged, shaped, squeezed and hoisted by ever more elaborate materials and mechanisms. With the rise of high-performance fabrics and smart materials in the 21st century, here’s a brief survey of what the future is looking like for pants.Undercover underwear

What do you do when you develop a cunning remote-monitoring system to track soldiers’ performance in the field, but they don’t want to wear a clumsy chest strap, or forget to wear the wristband? You hide it in their pants, of course.

US army researchers have developed smart underwear, with sensors secreted inside elastic waistbands that track heart rate, body temperature and perspiration, and beam the stats back to a central monitor. This “wear-and-forget” sensory system is also designed for stressful training situations, identifying which soldiers remain more balanced, so they can be picked for the harder missions.

As ever, the multibillion-dollar fitness industry has taken lessons from the military-industrial complex and developed underwear that tracks your metrics during exercise. Forget the Fitbit. Meet the OMsignal smart bra, the result of “exhaustive scientific research” into making bras more expensive than ever before. Sensors in the straps send instant feedback to a smartphone app, so you can monitor precisely how few calories you are burning. There’s no escape: it’s not just the NSA – our underwear is watching too.

Genital scaffolding

The term “enhancing underwear” might summon images of go-go-gadget pants that help you run faster and jump higher, but it actually refers to a new breed of briefs that promise you a bigger bulge. Push-up bras and “butt-lifters” have long been a staple of women’s lingerie aisles, but genital scaffolding has now spread to menswear. Featured in the V&A exhibition, the “Wonderjock” is the work of Australian company AussieBum and aims to do for men’s bits what the Wonderbra did for women’s busts – hoisting them up and thrusting them out.

Is “pouch-enhancing technology”, which basically consists of a separate pocket for your bits at the front of the pants, the logical evolution of the “manspreading” urge to take up more space? “It will literally pick you up and push you forward,” growls the video, showing a pair of pants swelling up with a big bulge, ready to burst.

Pants for pill-poppers

Underwear is already a common place for smuggling drugs of the illegal variety, but a recent pharmaceutical innovation could soon make putting pills in your pants a legitimate activity. Swiss textile giant Schoeller has developed a fabric that administers drugs to the surface of your skin over time, and thinks the best place to put it is in your undies – as those are the garments you’re least likely to forget to put on.

The iLoad uses the principle of a nicotine patch, with a “donor layer” over a base fabric, which can be charged with the required substance, like a sponge. Release of the substance is triggered by warmth, vibration, moisture and perspiration, with the “desorption” time adaptable to specific applications. Designed for treating dermatitis, sleep disorders and bedsores, the medicinal underwear could be rolled out to tackle all manner of ailments. Wake up with a cold? In future you might be reaching for your Lemsip-infused pants.

The company sees cosmetics as a big growth market for its “chargeable underwear” technology. Sit down and you could get an unexpected shot of moisturiser, perfume or cellulite cream, giving the idea of “slimming underwear” a whole new cachet.

Oh, for a bacon-scented bottom

If you love waking up to the smell of a cooked breakfast, but don’t have anyone to cook for you, help is at hand in the form of bacon-scented boxers. “Marrying the ultimate in comfort and cured meat, J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear represents the gold standard of meat-scented luxury undergarments,” says the Seattle-based food company behind the porky pants. “Each pair is hand crafted in the US to offer the support of briefs, the freedom of boxers and the smell of breakfast cooking in your pants. You really can have it all.”

A more practical innovation comes from British manufacturer Shreddies, which has developed flatulence-filtering underwear, allowing you to “fart with confidence”. Their magic farty pants incorporate a layer of Zorflex, a microporous carbon-based material more commonly used in chemical warfare. Research by De Montfort University found the fabric “removes sulphide and ethyl mercaptan so effectively it can filter odours 200 times the strength of the average flatus emission”, guaranteeing wind protection after even the fiercest lentil curry.

No, I’m really not pleased to see you

“Thunderwear” might sound like more fart-suppressers, but it is the brand name of “the original and most widely worn concealed holster available anywhere in the world! “Is the old ankle holster just a ‘little’ awkward?” asks the promotional website. Well, now you can simulate the gangsta feeling of putting your firearm straight in your boxers, only with the added comfort of a double-walled denim pouch for abrasion resistance.

The design also has a patented three-layer moisture barrier, to prevent mishaps if you get a bit excited by the thought of having a big steel barrel shoved in your kegs. A holster that leaves the gun pointing directly at the family jewels, what could possibly go wrong? The website features a page of glowing, somewhat alarming, testimonials: “Tried it out at dinnertime in jeans & a t-shirt,” says AP of Los Angeles, CA. “Neither wife nor kids were the wiser. Thanks.”

• Undressed: A Brief History of Underwear is at the Victoria and Albert Museum, London, until 12 March 2017.