What?

The Cookut raclette cheese set comprises round wooden baseboards with cutaway collar, lidded with non-stick mini-pans. Uses live flame to liquefy curds.

Why?

Jolyon and Jemima need fondue, too.

Well?

I have never understood winter sports, but am horrifically compelled by those who do. My fascination is something to do with the 100% certainty of serious injury, the hideous bulk of the jackets, plus the moronic language surrounding it all. I once went through a phase of signing out of every conversation – the more mundane and office-based the better – with the words: “I’m gonna hit the powder,” in the manner of a snow-berk. (Had to retire the catchphrase once I started working in the media, where it was widely misunderstood, and people kept following me into the bathroom.) Yet I have to concede there is one area in which the skiers are undeniably on to something good: the raclette grills on which they traditionally melt slabs of Swiss cheese, which are then slid over potatoes, cold cuts and cornichons. A meal designed by a ravening stoner, elevated to upper class ritual. Is it possible to make such a cuisine truly elegant? No, it isn’t. However, French company Cookut is giving it a square go, with its set of four circular raclette ramikins. “Une Savoureuse Raclette a la Bougie,” the box declares, boldly. Yes, I think to myself, I can be bougie.

The raclettes themselves are basically mini-fondue pots, with classy, stencil-etched patterning. Don’t get me wrong: initially, the setup looks like Lord Buckethead sired a bunch of mini-buckets, then put cheese on their heads; but that is before I place two lit tealights inside each. Their lambent glow makes me feel as if I’m preparing a Japanese tea ceremony, rather than cheesy chips. On top, the fromage bubbles, and I use the lil’ spade to ladle it on my spuds. Sticking the cornichons on, I faceplant the whole lot. Glorious, classy as heck, and you don’t need to be a posh jock to enjoy it. Raclette, set and match. Or whatever they say in snowsports. “Ow, my spine?” Let’s go with that.

Any downside?

One of those items you buy as a gift, discover you can melt cheese on, and keep for yourself. But people love getting random perfumes and Guylian seashells instead, so it’s fine.

Counter, drawer, back of the cupboard?

So into it! It’s the greatest! I’m gonna hit the powder! 4/5