This amateurish British horror film would be more forgivable, maybe even endearing in an “ah bless, at least they tried” way, if it were made by actual amateurs. However, director Corrie Greenop and his co-writer Lee Apsey already have a few titles in their filmographies, so no free passes will be issued.

This cack-handed effort features April Pearson as Amy, a woman whose sole job is to keep her white, side-boob-exposing dress immaculate throughout, even after she’s spent two days scrambling over rocks at the beach. Amy has arrived at a remote lighthouse to see her former lover Beth (Lynne Anne Rodgers) and Beth’s mute daughter Maya (pre-teen Kendra Mei, giving the film’s best performance) after the sudden death by drowning of Beth’s husband Christian (Toby Osmond).

Are the women being haunted by Christian’s ghost – a darting, damp figure covered in what looks like army camouflage makeup – or are they just hysterical and drunk? The script doesn’t seem to care as long as opportunities can be found to make them snog each other. Someone with a synthesiser appears to be lurking offscreen playing minor chords of doom while the stars gurn and tiptoe up to ominously closed doors.