The first rule when it comes to video conference calling is, don’t dress for the beach. Or the gym. Or bed. “One time I had a woman on the call in a spaghetti strap tank top,” says technology executive Amy Bailey. She manages a team of 10 remote workers from her home in California. Video conferencing technology is integral to her job: her team could not function without their daily morning video call. “I said: ‘I know you’re at home, but we can see a bit too much. Put a blouse on!’”

As the coronavirus epidemic continues, more of us will be working from home. Many won’t be digital natives, and may be coming to grips with video calling for the first time. How best to project an aura of professionalism from home?

Understand the technology

All video calling software – Google Hangouts, BlueJeans, Zoom – have the same basic features: a mute button, a screen-sharing option to let other callers see what’s on your computer, and a chat function to type messages to other users.

“Mute your microphone if you aren’t talking,” advises Bailey. (Don’t forget to turn it back on if you want to say something.) If you’re unfamiliar with video calling, try practice calls to family and friends.

Mansplainers, take note

You know the guy. He drones on in meetings while everyone else shifts in their seats. Sometimes he steals his female co-workers’ ideas.

Video calling can make things worse. “It tends to enhance existing patterns of behaviour,” says Prof André Spicer, an expert in organisational behaviour at Cass Business School. “We know that males tend to dominate conversations, and with video calls this is often the case.”

The way to stop a mansplainer hijacking the call is for managers to be firm about who speaks, and for how long. “Follow good chairing protocols,” suggests Spicer. “At the beginning, say: ‘This is the purpose of the meeting, this is how long we’ve got, we’re going to spend this much time on each item.”

Dress appropriately

Just because you are working from home, doesn’t mean you can dress like a slob – from the waist up, that is. “I don’t expect my team to be perfect all the time,” says Bailey, “but make sure you’re dressed appropriately. Pyjamas aren’t an option!” Zoom gives you the option to digitally touch up your appearance, using technology not dissimilar to an Instagram filter. However, the touch-up option only blurs and brightens your complexion: good if you’ve got a hangover, but not exactly a digitally rendered suit.

Be mindful of what your colleagues can see behind you. An overflowing laundry basket doesn’t give the best impression. “A neutral backdrop is good, so people don’t get distracted,’’ says Spicer.

Pointless video calls turn workers into zoombies

Technology can dehumanise interpersonal interactions. “I call them zoombies,” says Gianpiero Petriglieri, an associate professor of organisational behaviour at San Francisco business school INSEAD.

Petriglieri often teaches through video conferencing, and is aware of how the technology can cause people to disassociate from the content of the meeting. “You become a zoombie when your spirit is sapped from what you’re doing.”

To avoid technology-induced ennui, only hold video meetings when absolutely necessary. “Be deliberate about why you’re having the meeting,” says Petriglieri. The average European office worker spends 13 days a year in meetings, many of them pointless.

Be selective about who you invite. “Get as few people on the call as possible,” says Bruce Daisley, author of The Joy of Work. “When you’ve got a collection of 50 postage-stamp-sized faces on the screen, it’s impossible to feel connected. And when you don’t know everyone in the meeting, you speak less frankly.”

Practise good etiquette

You wouldn’t openly browse Twitter during a meeting, so don’t do it in a video call. “Make eye contact with the camera,” says Bailey. “If you’re typing, mute your keyboard so other people don’t hear clicking.” Sit forward in your seat when others are talking, rather than slumping on your sofa – it shows your co-workers that you’re engaged.

If some people are dialling in from home, and others are at work, be mindful of the people physically absent. Meetings may be weighted in favour of the people in the room: they can exchange looks or read body language in a way those plugged in from home can’t.

Petriglieri often teaches mixed seminars, where some participants are dialling in, and others are working from home. He uses the example of meetings between heads of states: there are the world leaders who sit at the conference table, and the aides on the chairs behind them.

“The best advice I can give is to be mindful of the people in the second row,” says Petriglieri. “You need to develop a muscle for inclusion.” When he is lecturing, he is careful to draw on students online, as well as those in the room, to avoid what he terms “extreme asymmetry”.

If you are in a meeting room with a large screen showing people dialled in from home, Petriglieri recommends asking participants at home to raise their hands if they want to talk. “It’s easy to ignore people who aren’t in the room if the conversation is getting going,” he says. “Ask people to let you know if someone is raising their hand and you don’t see it.”

Beware the private chat

So much of our interaction in meetings is nonverbal. The eye-roll behind your boss’s back; the strained smile when the office bore drones on. With video calling, these subtleties are lost – which is why many workers will often have a sneaky chat going on with their co-workers at the same time.

But a chat message is much more permanent than an eye-roll. “These messages can be recorded by your employers,” says Spicer, “and people can be held accountable for them. An informal eye roll can be disavowed, but an instant message on a company server can’t.” So, if you’re tempted to gripe about how tedious the video call is to a trusted colleague – use your personal mobile phone instead.

If you’re sharing a slide-deck or other notes during a video call, other people in the meeting will be able to screenshot those materials without you realising. Which is fine if you trust your colleagues, but good to be aware of nonetheless.

Treat each other like humans

“The interesting thing about remote working is that people always think it will be better,” says Daisley. “But people’s stress levels are actually higher when they work remotely. It’s stressful and lonely. We think our boss doesn’t trust us and our team doesn’t like us.”

One-to-one video calling can help combat social isolation. “I work for a company where 80% of the employees work remotely,” says Bailey. “Our HR department encourages us to call people via video call instead of sending them an email, so that you can have that face-to-face interaction. It adds time, but it helps you engage more with your co-workers.” US software startup GitHub even runs Remote Happy Hours for employees working from home – although of course, they have to drink whatever’s in their fridge.

Like any technology, video calling is neutral. It’s about how you use it. Don’t drone on, waste time, or speak for the sake of it, and you’ll get the most of video calling software. And remember: if you are watching Netflix instead of working, always put your microphone on mute.