Trying to pick the 10 funniest things on the internet is harder than trying to come up with an appropriate analogy for how hard it is to pick the 10 funniest things on the internet: damn near impossible. But I have tried. I’ve also tried to keep things as PG as I can, because some of the funniest things on the internet are not safe for work. So I’ve been prevented from including anything to do with bodily fluids, which really dampens my style.
I also want to give a special mention to two Netflix shows, Maria Bamford’s masterpiece, Lady Dynamite, and the funniest sketch show in a decade, I Think You Should Leave. Both are technically “on the internet” and are among the funniest things I’ve seen in years but I can’t pick one single moment or put both whole series in here. So watch them.
Anyway, here’s my funny things in no particular order.
1. Cool 3D World – Men in Chairs
Men in Chairs pic.twitter.com/xRMIfHnxZ3
— Cool 3D World (@Cool3DWorld) August 17, 2016
Cool 3D World is what I need. It’s a cold pint of lager on a 42C day. It’s a hot cup of mulled wine while sitting beside a fireplace. It’s clean sheets on a freshly made bed. It’s what makes me feel like this nonsense hellscape of existence is actually OK. When I watch it I feel like weeping with joy and I never want to look away. All the videos are masterpieces but what I feel was a true coming-of-age for the channel, and one of the most revered works in its hallowed history, would have to be Men in Chairs.
2. The Onion – Violence in Our Dreams
This is a classic from the most prestigious fake news network on the internet. Good luck to you, Nancy, I hope you got some sleep.
3. Between Two Ferns – Charlize Theron
Look, everybody knows about Between Two Ferns. It’s a hit. You know it and I know it. But at the end of the day this is a funniest things list. I can lie to you and say that this isn’t one of the funniest web series I’ve ever seen, but I’M NOT A LIAR! I SPEAK THE TRUTH! When this came out it was everything and I watched every episode. I loved it. And you did too.
It’s hard to pick a favourite but I love this because it’s one of the rare times the guest flipped the interview back on Zach Galifianakis. Charlize is so funny in this and this is great.
4. Philomena Cunk – Who’s This Penis?
I don’t know if I’ve heard anyone referenced more in TV writing rooms than Philomena Cunk. She is a perfect character, and the archetype for satirical infotainment that we all aspire to be. It’s difficult to choose a standout – her segment on Time for Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe is frequently cited as her best work – but here’s one of my faves.
5. Aunty Donna – Filling Up on Cheese
Aunty Donna are Australia’s best sketch group and need no introduction. So here’s my new favourite: Filling up on Cheese Before Dinner.
6. DeAnna Lorraine – Trump Drinks Water
It’s well known that political satire was rendered obsolete on 9 November 2016. Even four years after the election of Donald Trump, I continue to be shocked by what his supporters say and do on a daily basis.
I had to really investigate whether DeAnna Lorraine is a real person or a troll, because this is too good. And, frankly, she looks legit. This is a video of Trump drinking a glass of water and the crowd cheering for blood, clipped up and shared by a woman claiming that it destroys the “degenerate left”. Everything about this is hilarious. I think. I mean I have to laugh at this otherwise the depression will wash over me like a thick gravy over rare roast beef.
The degenerate left claimed President Trump had health issues after drinking water with 2 hands.
— DeAnna Lorraine 🇺🇸 (@DeAnna4Congress) June 21, 2020
Today he drank with one and tossed the glass to the side! 🤣
GREATEST. PRESIDENT. EVER. pic.twitter.com/0EAGff1Bhb
7. Sam Campbell
This might be unfair because Sam is my friend and maybe I’m not being objective, but also he is a multi-award winner and critically acclaimed so I reckon I’m safe. Sam is basically the best comic in Australia and this is a clip from the funniest show I’ve ever seen.
8. Graham
Graham is an example of how the road to evil is paved with good intentions. In 2016 the Transport Accident Commission Victoria decided it wanted to raise awareness about road safety. A noble goal, to be sure, but somewhere along the way it veered from that path and created hell on this earth; a Lovecraftian nightmare known only as Graham. Graham is supposed to be what a human might look like if that human could survive a motor vehicle accident. But Graham survives more than car crashes, he survives in the nether regions of your mind. He survives in your darkest nightmares and he won’t ever let you go.
Graham was created by Patricia Piccinini, who also created the terror known as the Skywhale, and I think there’s no one else alive who could get away with putting so many nipples on a government-sponsored work. WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY NIPPLES THOUGH? WHAT IS THE SAFETY ASPECT??
9. The Census Cowboy
Chicago mayor @LoriLightfoot calls up her posse. pic.twitter.com/Dz1oXb2hjb
— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) July 13, 2020
In the same vein as Graham, the Census Cowboy is another, more recent government initiative that boggles the mind. What does a cowboy have to do with the census? Who is this for? Who in the frozen, northern metropolis of Chicago is really into westerns and jamming out to Old Town Road? What exactly does this have to do with Batman other than they are both men wearing unusual outfits? Why is it a bad thing when the Census Cowboy visits you? Is he going to hurt you? This is fresh content and it is good.
10. Pony Up Daddy
And finally, on the theme of cowboys, I want to take you to a place in your imagination. Imagine what it would be like if one day you found yourself crouching on all fours, strapping a saddle to your waist and waiting for your sugar-filled child to slowly wriggle up on to your back. Imagine feeling little Janey or Jimmy using their heels to kick you in the ribs so you would bounce around faster as they squealed “Pony up, Daddy!” Imagine what it would feel like to know that you simply had nothing left. Nothing left to hope for, no dreams left to dream. You’re a horsey now. Your bubby’s big horsey and that’s all you’ll ever be.
Well, imagine no more! Here’s Pony Up Daddy!
