Here is a philosophical conundrum: if no one is talking about Elon Musk, does he really exist? The entrepreneur needs attention the way mortals need oxygen. If the 49-year-old is not in the news for a couple of days, he finds a way to shoehorn himself back into the headlines – even if it means piggybacking on international efforts to rescue children trapped in a cave, or calling his child X Æ A-12.
Behold the billionaire’s latest stunt: a bionic pig. On Friday, Musk livestreamed a “progress update” on Neuralink, his neuroscience startup. The star of the show was Gertrude, a pig with a chip in her brain. Musk is betting we will all soon be clamouring to get what Gertie has, which is what Musk described as “a Fitbit in your skull”. Neuralink’s ambition is to develop mass-market brain-computer interfaces that allow you to control things with your mind, as well as to cure depression, spinal injuries and neurological disorders.
It sounds very impressive. However, like many things with which Musk is involved, the deeper you dig, the shallower you realise it is. Remember when he said he was going to revolutionise urban transportation, and it turned out he had invented a highly inefficient tunnel? Or the time he promised to manufacture and deliver ventilators to hospitals, when in fact the hospitals said he had delivered far less expensive breathing-support machines?
The pig demonstration was similarly underwhelming. Noises sounded to demonstrate what Musk claimed were Gertrude’s neurons firing in real time, but it was nothing neuroscientists had not done before. While Musk made big claims about Neuralink’s potential, he did not back these up with data or evidence. “Neuralink is neuroscience theatre,” concluded the MIT Technology Review.
Theatre it may be, but it has a rapt audience. It does not matter what ludicrous pronouncements Musk comes out with; he has hordes of adoring fans (Musketeers?) lining up to inject his hype into their veins – and his chips into their brains. A narcissist with ambitions that sound a lot like brainwashing? What could possibly could go wrong?
No doubt some of Musk’s cultlike disciples will tell me I am a bitter Grinch for doubting their god. But a chip on the shoulder is better than a malfunctioning implant in the brain.
Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
