Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Guardian. I have been waiting for you, you know.

I actually started a Google doc with my funniest things last year when you launched this column. I’d wake up at all hours, adding things, removing others, thinking about how I’d justify why they’d made the cut. I just assumed you’d reach out.

But you never called. Fourteen whole months, no correspondence. Not even a hint of interest. So I’ve been sitting here, festering, refreshing videos of men falling down mountains and children getting hit in the head with basketballs, and slowly going mad. And now, finally, you jump on the Froomesworld bandwagon, just as I get a part in a new show.

That’s cool. I’m just happy you’re giving me another platform to share a video of George Calombaris making love to a millefeuille.

1. Man falling down snow

If there’s one thing that makes me believe that world peace is achievable, it’s people falling over. It’s universally funny. The only thing funnier is when someone almost falls but catches themselves and tries to jog it off.

2. Baby on a pottery wheel

I will not be taking questions at this time.

3. Crack Kid’s at it again!

Everybody knows a crack kid. They are usually that kid in your suburb that tears around on a bike making funny noises or knick knocking or turning their eyelids inside out. The child in this video is your quintessential crack kid. To have his essence captured on camera is a gift.

4. Dirty Bird #2: Dads

Dirty Bird is a four-part YouTube series made by Henry Stone and Sam Campbell. It follows two young men as they embark on a charcoal chicken saga. This is the best episode because it features their dads, and Stole by Kelly Rowland. I think everything Sam Campbell does is funny.

5. I am out this bitch

Dogs in glass tanks at shopping centres … Why did we let this go on for so long? This little dog doesn’t care, because he is out this bitch.

i love this dog (credit: @browncardigan69) pic.twitter.com/2rj0Akej0M

— froomes (@lucindafprice) July 21, 2021

6. Phyllis Diller at a bar

Phyllis Diller (born 1917) was a comedian, actor, author, artist, housewife, plastic surgery enthusiast and recipe creator. I love her deranged sense of style and the fact that her name kind of looks like Dill Pickle. Even the thumbnail of this video cracks me up. I want to be Phyllis Diller!

7. That Soggy Nugget

That Soggy Nugget make videos of a real-life Marge Simpson cooking hot dogs. I have no idea who these men are, I have no idea how they make the hot dogs go that far down their throat, but this is 100% amazing.

8. Cherlyn Barnes

This is one of my favourite videos from Cherlyn Barnes. I love watching all her blogs on her YouTube channel.

9. George Calombaris eating a pastry

How I wish GC described every dish on MasterChef.

10. Come on in!

I found this last week and I don’t know if it’s gonna stand the test of time … but today-me says it’s absolutely gotta make the top 10!

• Lucinda Price, AKA Froomes, is the host of the Where Are All the Baby Pigeons podcast and appears in Amazon Prime’s new series The Moth Effect, whose first episode airs on Friday. She’s on Instagram @frooomes