Monica Singh adds whole red chillies, cloves, cardamom, a bay leaf and finely chopped onions to a searing pot of ghee. The base of her coconut chicken curry crackles and sizzles in the pot. The results, spooned over basmati rice, are thick, warm and extremely comforting – or at least that’s how they look on TikTok.

Singh, who works in sales and marketing in San Francisco, learned to cook by watching her mother in the kitchen when she was growing up in India. Years later Singh’s daughter Anushka learned through higher-tech means. On visits home, Anushka filmed Singh cooking, then watched the videos later to replicate her mother’s recipes while studying at university.

“One thing led to another,” Singh says, “and she’s like, ‘Why don’t I just post this? – This will help so many people, like me, who want to know how to exactly do it.’”

Singh was taught to cook by feel and flavour but her zillennial daughter’s questions made her realise there was a myth among younger generations: that Indian food is hard to get right.

“[They] have this whole thing … If I don’t put one thing in, it’s gonna not work right. I want to bust that myth.”

Singh’s first video, posted in 2021, is a 36-second clip about paneer bhurji soundtracked to I’m So Hungry by Karter Zaher. Her account, @therealmonicasingh, now has 2.5m likes, more than 250,000 followers and her most popular video, a dal tadka recipe, has more than 8m views.

But it’s not the stats that bring her the most satisfaction. Her social media presence is a “legacy for her daughter and zillennials”, she says. Singh is particularly proud when commenters refer to her as “auntie”, request recipes or give her feedback on dishes they’ve made themselves.

“For the most part, they say, ‘Can I come over? I will do everything in your home. I will chop and clean. Can you be my mum?’ To which my daughter will say, ‘Oh, the position has been taken.’”

The Sydney-based TikTok cookery creator Nipun Liyanapathirana, 31, says he also sometimes plays the role of substitute mother: “I heard a lot from all the people who are following me like, ‘You know what? Every time I call my mum it’s so hard to understand what she’s saying. But when I’m watching your videos, it’s so simple.’”

Navya Khetarpal, 22, says it took her 10 tries before she could commit her mother’s multistep dal recipe to memory. Khetarpal, who was raised in Hyderabad, was an international student living in Australia at the time. Far from home, she realised she couldn’t just “eat a sandwich every day” so she picked up the phone to her mum and grandma.

Since then, she has turned to TikTok to learn how to make other south Asian dishes. “There are only so many recipes my mum and grandma have,” Khetarpal says. “But there’s a lot more to my culture … I think TikTok is a great gateway into that cooking culture outside of my mum’s home kitchen.”

Preethika Subash also watches TikTok videos for recipes from all over India. “I get to have different experiences … without having been there before,” she says.

In 2020 the then-international student from Singapore often video-called her grandmother to learn how to make her favourite chicken curry, comparing their relationship to the movie Ratatouille. Her grandmother was the rat, “and I was just … the chef”, she says.

Subash says culinary TikTokers are “memorialising” south Asian culture, especially for young people like her, who have moved countries and might struggle to find a sense of home. She feels reconciled with her identity when she watches, and attempts, the recipes.

When Liyanapathirana moved to Australia, cooking helped nourish his long-distance relationship with Sri Lanka. He filmed himself because “I actually understood how great my culture was … now I see the value, and the years, generations of, knowledge [and] skills passed down.”

Now his dishes including a rich dolphin kottu (no dolphins were harmed in the making – the recipe actually uses chicken) and Kerala beef stir-fry, have netted him more than 2m likes on TikTok, where he posts as @nipcooks.

Liyanapathirana credits his wife and mother with getting him started and says that as he was learning his audience learned too.

“I still remember this one person who sent me a message saying how their parents passed away a few years ago and how the food is helping them reconnect with their memories,” he says. “I think that’s what I love.”