The revelations about the internet activity of Axel Rudakubana, who murdered three girls at a Southport dance class last summer, have renewed concerns about the availability of extreme violence online.
Experts, including child psychotherapists and internet safety advisers, agree that, although the details of the case are shocking, they present an ideal opportunity for parents to discuss the dangers of online violence, and its impact, with their children.
Be proactive
Mary Glasgow, the chief executive of the Scottish child protection charity Children First, said, based on its research, parents should not be naive about the risks: their children either will see violent content online or have already seen it.
Dr Julia Ebner, a researcher specialising in radicalisation, extremism and terrorism at the University of Oxford and the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, said the Southport case might trigger some young people’s curiosity, leading them to do their own research online, which could put them at risk. “They might go down a rabbit hole and expose themselves to radicalisation or engaging with extreme content,” said Ebner. “So this is an important moment to raise awareness and to educate.”
Establish ground rules
Ideally, experts agreed, parents should discuss online safety with their children before they gain access to the internet, and should continue to talk to them regularly about their online lives. There are a range of parental resources, from Internet Matters’ family digital toolkit to advice from children’s charities such as the NSPCC, which cover parental control tools, such as blocks and filters, to reduce the risks of children accessing harmful and inappropriate material. However, experts acknowledged there was comparatively little guidance for parents specifically about online violent content, although the Department for Education and the Home Office have produced a leaflet about protecting children from extremism.
Open a discussion
As children could be terrified by the Southport case, conversations should be calm and empathetic. If parents meet resistance from their child, they should not force discussion but try again, making clear concerns for their mental health and safety.
Online due diligence
Experts advised parents to find out more about the online communities their children are engaged with, in the same way they would carry out checks on offline activity such as sleepovers at a friend’s house or visits to a sports club. Ebner suggested parents encourage their children to show them the online communities they regularly participate in, find out who the other members are, ask for a quick tour of some of their profiles, or an overview of the conversations that happen there.
The child and adolescent psychotherapist Kemi Omijeh said this could start with non-confrontational questions about a community’s activity, such as jokes in a WhatsApp group. These discussions should encourage the child to think critically about their own behaviour and the dynamics of the online groups they engage with, and help them set boundaries about activity that makes them uncomfortable. Ebner added that this could also help young people to recognise when a subculture they are involved in becomes radicalised or politicised.
Warning signs
Parents should note changes in their child’s behaviour that might indicate potential problems, such as increased social isolation. For example, is the child spending far more time online alone in their room, as opposed to in communal family spaces? Other warning signs might include increased loyalty to an online community and hostility towards those outside it, as well as group discussions about conspiracies or endorsements of violence, said Ebner.
She advised parents to ask their children why they were spending more time in a particular online community. Is it filling a gap in the child’s life? Are they undergoing an identity crisis? Does it reflect a need for a sense of belonging? Is it related to bullying? Do they want to build an alternative identity? This could help parents to identify a child’s vulnerability to exploitation by others in the group.
Reacting to harmful behaviour
If parents are concerned or discover their child has been engaged with violent material or activity online, the appropriate response will depend on the severity of the material and whether this was a one-off or a pattern of behaviour.
If a child was exposed to violent content they did not seek to view, parents should help them understand or process what they’ve seen. Besides allaying their worries or fears, parents should support children by blocking or reporting harmful content to prevent them from encountering it again. Parents should also ensure children know where else they can get help from if they see such content again.
If a child actively sought out such content, Omijeh advised parents to try to understand why their child had been drawn to it. “In my experience with working with children and young people, a lot of it is loneliness, [and] not finding the connections and communities in real life.” She advised parents to help their children find a sense of community and connection in more positive spaces offline.
If a child’s online activity is not safe, then access to problematic communities should be blocked. “It’s OK to be the bad cop and to remove them from those spaces in the same way as if they were in physical danger,” Omijeh added.
Seek professional help
In more serious cases, especially if there are concerns that online violent content may trigger offline violence, parents themselves, and other children, including siblings, may be at risk. So they should seek help from professionals, including schools, child protection, mental health services and the police.
David Wright, the chief executive of the charity Safety and Security Online, said parents should be aware that sharing concerns with statutory agencies, including schools, could trigger a referral to Prevent, the government’s scheme to stop terrorist violence. “There are huge implications if you do come across content or behaviour that warrants investigation,” he added. The government has created an online form for reporting online material promoting terrorism or extremism.
Wright added that violent content should not be deleted in a situation where agencies need to investigate. But if a parent is sure that the content is viewed accidentally, and there’s no pattern of behaviour, it may be appropriate to block it, reporting it to the app, internet service provider or phone network, and deleting it. Some children’s charities, such as Children First, offer confidential helplines that can advise affected parents on how best to proceed.
