Herzog and Homer

After driving Christian Bale and Klaus Kinski to distraction and tangling with Nicolas Cage, Werner Herzog has finally made it. The Bavarian film-maker has become a character on The Simpsons. Visiting London for the premiere of his latest poem/documentary Cave of Forgotten Dreams, Herzog told me he'd never seen a single episode of the show before but was very impressed when he went for a live read-through of his episode with the rest of the cast. In "The Scorpion's Tale", Herzog voices a demented German pharmaceutical executive taking an unhealthy interest in Grampa. "It was a very amusing experience and a very professional one," he told me over dinner in Brixton. "I very much like to use my voice for performing and although I at first wanted to play myself, they were very persuasive that I should be this German chemist, and I have to say they made the right choice.

"This was the first episode I have ever seen and I think this is a very funny programme. Maybe I will watch some more, I don't know." Herzog, whatever his subject, doesn't need cheering up. He told me he is currently editing another documentary, called Death Row, having spent weeks talking to inmates in Florida and Texas. "I am finding it very invigorating and inspiring," he said. "I met a man who knew he had just 23 minutes left to live — someone staring into the abyss like that has many interesting thoughts to share."

Here we go again...

French director Fred Cavayé had his debut film, Pour Elle (Anything for Her), remade by Hollywood as The Next Three Days. Cavayé's original starred Diane Kruger and Vincent Lindon while the markedly inferior remake, directed by Paul Haggis, featured Russell Crowe trying to rescue Elizabeth Banks from wrongful imprisonment. Cavayé's latest film, À Bout Portant (Point Blank), was a star at the recent Rendez-Vous with French Cinema in London and Edinburgh, a zippy thriller about an innocent male nurse (Gilles Lellouche) caught up with criminals and corrupt cops. It's a terrific little chase movie that dashes along at bullet speed. Cavayé told me that this film has now been optioned by Hollywood, although he doesn't know who is in the frame to direct or star in it.

"I make films in the American style anyway," he said. "They don't really need remaking. I think because my films are so American, Haggis felt he should make a French-style version of my movie and this didn't really work. As for the new one, I don't get involved, I let Hollywood get on with it and just take it as a compliment."

Say what you see

I was chatting to Bertrand Tavernier about actress Melanie Thierry, the charming French star who shines in the venerable director's fine new period film The Princess of Montpensier. "She is more than charming," he exploded. "She has wonderful eyes, a perfect mouth and, of course, beautiful breasts." I can only imagine the strenuous casting sessions Tavernier must have been through...

Chopper squad

Makers of low-budget Brit-flick Blooded, a faux-doc about anti-hunt protesters turning the tables on some posh people, were nearly scuppered when the helicopter they had hired for a day of filming broke down. The local hire company on the Isle of Mull only had replacements available in leopard print. "What self-respecting anti-hunt protester would fly a leopard-print helicopter?" fretted the producer Nick Ashdon.