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Earth Defence Force 2017 Portable exists for one reason: to let you and two carefully chosen weapons from your arsenal loose on a relentless alien horde. As they pour out of vast motherships, it's an exercise in crowd control from the very start, as you use hot lead to temper and whittle away the onrushing swarm. Huge robots, giant spiders and fleets of spaceships fall before the muzzles of your multiplicity of guns, as do buildings and motorway flyovers as you cheerfully destroy the cities you're supposed to be defending. Bellowed in-game dialogue ("They're a herd of people-eating lobsters!") joins the screeches of the vanquished as you lay waste to heaving screen-fulls of invaders in a game that glories in its B-movie trashiness.