▶ Final bow wow: The Artist's Uggie is quitting showbiz because of a mystery illness that has baffled experts and cost his trainer thousands of dollars in vets' bills. "I've been feeling ruff," intimated the canine star.

▶ Meet Joe, Scarlett: Joseph Gordon-Levitt's directorial debut will star Scarlett Johansson (above) as the long-suffering travel companion of a man on "a journey to become less of a selfish dick", says the Inception star. 

▶ Peta goes ape: Liam Neeson has incurred the wrath of America's animal rights group by telling reporters he dined on wolf stew during the filming of his lycanthrope-lashing action thriller, The Grey. 

▶ A bad spell: Ex-wizard Daniel Radcliffe boarded the controversy train from platform huffy as he renounced his support for the Lib Dems and attacked the Academy voters for overlooking Harry Potter in the Oscar nominations. Nick Clegg is a "whipping boy", he said, and the Oscars are beset by a "certain amount of snobbery".  

▶ Brothers in (gammy) arms: Arnie and Sly were pictured lying in twin hospital beds after both were admitted for shoulder surgery this week. But it turned out to be a faintly morbid publicity stunt to promote their new action stomper, The Tomb.

▶ Not funny Valentin: Raunchy posters for The Artist star Jean Dujardin's new comedy Les Infidèles have been removed from Parisian billboards after worries that the "sexist" pictures, which show Dujardin nestled between the spreadeagled legs of an anonymous woman, would damage the actor's Oscar prospects. 

▶ Set for scandal: Gérard Depardieu is set to take the lead in Abel Ferrara's Dominique Strauss-Kahn-inspired film about sex and politics.