Plenty of people were stupefied when Netflix announced a groundbreaking deal with Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison Productions, where the star would release his next four movies directly to the video streaming service.
“Adam Sandler? Really?” all the snobs who are Netflix’s biggest champions asked. After all, this is the guy whose recent flops include Blended, That’s My Boy, Jack and Jill, and something about a Zohan. These are movies that you watch on a plane, and not even on the way there. These are movies you watch on the way home because you already watched your first two choices of crappy movie on the way there, so you’re stuck with either this or Real Steel where Hugh Jackman fights as a robot.
But it makes sense of Netflix to make this move to broaden the appeal of their product. They don’t need people to necessarily watch the movies; they just need to get more subscribers. If Sandler will appeal to fans of The Big Bang Theory, or, even more likely, people in foreign countries where Netflix is trying to expand, then so be it.
Netflix already has all the cool people who just need their prestige TV, so who are they going to go after next? One of the niches they’ve already filled is “People Nostalgic for Adam Sandler Movies”, so using Netflix’s own ridiculous category breakdowns, here are some other subsections of the market that the streaming service could target with their newest acquisition deals.
Old Suburban Men Who Can’t Find Softcore Movies Now That Skinemax Got Cancelled: They can probably get Emmanuelle streaming rights for a song.
Former Ravers Who Want to Show Their Kids What the 90s Were Really Like: Currently the only way to marathon Groove, Go, and Party Girl on a Saturday night is by ordering the DVDs.
Kids Who Are Sick of Rio 2: There must be something else.
Australians who Actually Want to Watch the Atrocities Americans Commit to Their Hit Shows When We Remake Them: Poor, poor Kath and Kim.
Parents Who Are Sick of Rio 2: Seriously, there has to be something else.
Film School Students Who Left Their Essay about the Use of Drag in Foreign Cinema Until the Very Last Minute: Sure, you can stream Farewell My Concubine, but not one Pedro Almodóvar movie?!
Moms Trying to Decide Between a Lifetime Movie or a Rom-Com Maybe Something With That Girl In It, You Know the One, The One Who Was on Grey’s What’s Her Name Oh Damn I Spilled My Zinfandel: A bevy of Katherine Heigl films for your Ma.
Youth Soccer League Coaches Who Love Rodney Dangerfield and Sports Movies Who Think Jackée Really Should Get More Work Than She Does: Ladybugs would be a good start.
People Who Actually Like Rob Schneider Movies: Wherever Adam Sandler goes, the other is sure to follow.
