Martin Belam 

JK Rowling doesn’t exist: conspiracy theories the internet can’t resist

Nor does Finland. Or the Beatles. And Nasa never sent robots to Mars. Just some of the intrigues other than JFK the internet loves
  
  

Charlie Day as Charlie in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has become a popular internet shorthand for ‘conspiracy theory’
Charlie Day as Charlie in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has become a popular internet shorthand for ‘conspiracy theory’. Photograph: FX Networks/20th Television

The much anticipated release of new files about the assassination of John F Kennedy have again thrown a spotlight on the conspiracy theories surrounding the US president’s death. And the internet loves nothing more than a conspiracy theory. Here is a selection of controversial claims that the web especially seems to love.

Modern flat Earth theorists

It is not entirely clear whether there is a new generation of people on the web who really believe the Earth is flat, or whether it is being posted as an ironic wind-up, but flat Earth theory has been enjoying a renaissance not seen since, well, perhaps the renaissance itself.

Maintaining that the world is flat is a lot harder in an era where space exploration has sent back images of the planet, and you have to find a way to account for how GPS signals work, but there is still a lot of effort put into it.

Just remember though, rumours that the Flat Earth Society once announced it had members all around the globe are sure to have been exaggerated.

The Beatles (as you know them) never existed

Never mind just arguing that Paul is dead. A phenomenally detailed website, almost a work of art in itself, argues that while we have all seen and heard the music of the Beatles, they never existed. The argument runs that their output was so prolific, and their public image so omnipresent, that the Beatles could only be achieved by every one of the Fab Four having a body double.

Scoffing at the concept of stylists and male grooming, key evidence includes the changing shape of their eyebrows over the years, and the varying height of Paul McCartney.

Finland doesn’t exist

It seems unlikely on the face of it, but if there are people claiming we have all been misled over the existence of the Beatles and the shape of the globe, then vanishing a whole country does not seem too much of a leap.

This theory, which seems to have started on Reddit and then spread, argues that what we know as Finland on the map is actually an extra bit of the Baltic Sea that Russia and Japan have been jointly exploiting for fish, while telling everybody there is a country there to keep other boats out.

People who claim to live in Finland are, the theory runs, actually from eastern Sweden and have been duped.

There are no Nasa rovers on Mars

Most people are familiar with the conspiracy theory stating that Apollo 11 never landed on the moon, and that the footage was faked. Possibly by Stanley Kubrick. Away from that well-trodden path, Nasa is still suspected, by some, of faking mission footage in the 21st century, including from the Mars rovers.

There are persistent claims that Nasa actually has the rovers patrolling a Mars-like landscape on Canada’s Devon Island.

And even those that accept the rovers are on Mars have also at varying times claimed to have spotted things Nasa is trying to suppress, such as skeletons, ancient figures, the shadow of someone working to repair the robot, and mysteriously appearing rocks.

We know what Buzz Aldrin would do.

Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon, punches a man for saying he never went there.

JK Rowling doesn’t exist

Is it possible that a person can write six thick books that are translated into 55 languages and sell more than 250 million copies in less than 10 years? – Nina Grünfeld

You might be aware of the huge entertainment industry that has grown around JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books, and the amazing impact they have had on people’s lives.

You may be less aware that some people believe she does not exist. Specifically the Norwegian film director Nina Grünfeld.

In 2005 she argued that Rowling’s story of being inspired to write the Hogwarts adventures while stuck on a delayed train was too good to be true, and could not explain how she managed to write so many books in so short a space of time, and turn them into the money-spinning empire as we know it.

Instead, Grünfeld claimed that, like the Carolyn Keene name that fronts the Nancy Drew mysteries, JK Rowling is a front for a cottage industry of professionals churning out the series behind the scenes.

A time traveller from the future warned us about Donald Trump in 2000

John Titor was the screen name of someone posting in internet message groups at the turn of the century, claiming to be from an apocalyptic future where the US had broken up after 10 years of civil war, and world war III had taken place. He was, he said, from 2036, and was coming back in time to get an IBM 5100 computer which was needed to keep systems running.

Titor specifically gave dates for these events to take place during the early 2000s, placing world war III in 2015, and claiming that the last Olympics took place in 2004. This has not deterred people from still referring to and trying to interpret his “prophecies” – and he in particular outlined one future president who would set out to unite the country, but end up dividing it further, undermining the fundamental rights of US citizens in the process.

Phantom time hypothesis

In 1991 Heribert Illig suggested that much of what we know of the early Middle Ages did not take place. Instead, the German historian argued, the Holy Roman Emperor Otto III and Pope Sylvester II, desiring to live in the numerically significant year AD1000, fabricated a significant chunk of history. Two hundred and ninety-seven years to be precise – with the years AD614–911 not taking place at all.

A similar theory, associated mostly with the Russian mathematician Anatoly Fomenko, is known as the New Chronology. This argues that the time span of recorded history is much shorter than usually accepted. Most known historical events, according to Fomenko, including those involving the Roman empire, ancient Greeks and the earliest Chinese dynasties, actually all took place within the last 1,000 years.

Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a clone named Melissa

Some sections of the internet cling to the idea that while she was alive, struggling with the pressure of fame at a young age, the Canadian music star began using a body double known as Melissa to carry out public engagements. At some point, the theory goes, the real Avril Lavigne died, and her management and record label persevered with Melissa assuming the starring role full-time.

The fact that Lavigne was once photographed with “Melissa” written on her hand only added fuel to the fire for some of the conspiracy theorists.

But the replacement theory has, understandably, also been much mocked on social media.

Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams

Among a raft of 9/11 conspiracy theories, the phrase “Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams” has become a standard internet shorthand for conspiracies and the punchline to jokes.

The conspiracy bit, about which there are countless videos on YouTube, relies on the idea that the burning point of the fuel powering the planes that hit the World Trade Center was significantly lower than the melting point of the steel used in the building’s construction. However, the steel did not need to melt to weaken the structural integrity of the twin towers once they had been struck by aeroplanes.

 

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