In a world oversaturated with superhero movies, The Incredibles has long stood out for its sheer relatability. Yes, the Parr family – the digitally created heroes of the Pixar film – have varying degrees of superhuman abilities, but they still have to deal with the rigmarole of everyday life, as we all do: work, school and the seemingly never-ending mundanity of domesticity.
However, in returning to their world in the sequel, released this week in the UK, there has been a role reversal with Bob, Helen and the kids. In a bid to get the superhero ban lifted Elastigirl is made the face of the campaign – to Mr Incredible’s absolute disdain – which means Bob’s job is to look after their children while Helen’s out at work.
It’s great to see Disney lean in, giving its female characters more agency, and making Helen the breadwinner is certainly a progressive reflection of our modern world. It’s something I can certainly relate to; Bob’s melodramatic reaction, however, is something I really cannot. In my family, my mother is the breadwinner, my father works for her, and after she was elected to parliament in 1997 he became the main caregiver at home.
He gave up his job doing public affairs for a Bloomsbury PR firm to become Don Valley constituency manager for my mum, Caroline, and to look after my two brothers and me in Doncaster while she was away in parliament during the week. Not once during that period were there any feelings of resentment about this part of our family dynamic. It worked well, for both my parents and us kids.
My dad was content to cook us dinner each night, get us to do chores, help with homework and drive me to basketball practice and games several times a week. At the same time, my mother was tirelessly working to better the country, so I had a feminist role model not only in her but in my father too. I understand that this setup was probably atypical at the time; 20 years ago, it would be tough to find many men willing to sacrifice their career to support their partner’s. Even today there are plenty of articles about how female breadwinners can poison a relationship, or why millennial women are worried about earning more than their male partners. There are still men who are stuck in their ways when it comes to gender roles, a bit like Mr Incredible. But there are plenty who are happy to play the “beta” role to their “alpha” female partners.
A US study, from Dove Men+Care and the gender equality organisation Promundo, found that 62% of men were willing to take a less well-paid job so their paternity leave was extended to allow them to be more involved in the early weeks or months of their newborn baby’s life. Since 2015, there has also been the option in the UK of splitting the 52 weeks of parental leave with your partner. A former colleague of mine did this recently – she and her husband enjoyed six months each with their newborn child – but there’s still a stigma associated with men taking time off work to care for their children. And really, it doesn’t help that so often male caregivers are often depicted unfavourably, or as being unwilling, in films and on TV.
In most cases, the dad is forced to take on the parenting role because of some unfortunate life event. In Mr. Mom and Daddy Day Care, the fathers lose their jobs; in Sleepless in Seattle, The Descendants and Finding Nemo, the mothers die; and the wives leave in both Mrs Doubtfire and The Pursuit of Happyness.
Even when the parental unit remains intact, there are often still issues. Anders Holm’s stay-at-home dad in The Intern gives up his job so his wife’s business can succeed, but he’s unfaithful to her. Paul Ready’s Kevin in Motherland is always the laughing stock of the parent-teacher association. And who can forget Matthew Gravelle’s Joe Miller in Broadchurch? He killed his son’s best mate.
As the film and television industry works harder to create female characters that are more representative of today’s working women, it’s time they gave working dads the same sort of treatment. Maybe that would help to dispel the stigma that stops so many men taking paternity leave, or help them to feel secure in earning less than their partners in order to spend more time looking after their children.
Mums are superheroes, but dads like mine are too. Incredibles 2 does them a disservice – let’s give them a bit more credit.
• Hanna Flint is a freelance writer and editor
